In some ways Blue Hawaii feels a lot like G.I. Blues, which makes sense, as it was directed by the same guy, Norman Taurog. As it turns out, he also did seven other Elvis movies. So if Blue Hawaii feels like the quintessential Elvis movie, it’s because so many of them have the stink of Taurog. Which isn’t necessary bad. These movies were made to be escapist fun. 

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To get a sense of who my Elvis directing nemesis was, I looked up Norman Taurog. Turns out he’s an Oscar winning director for 1931’s Skippy. He had a couple more Oscar nominations, but the most notable thing was how prolific he was. He directed movies for 48 years. In that time, he managed to knock out 180 movies. One. Hundred. Eighty! That’s almost 4 movies a year. Get to work, Scorsese!

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So yeah, Norman Taurog could knock out a picture fast. And that was just what Col. Tom wanted. While Elvis spent the 60s being busy shooting movies, the Colonel was running around Hollywood playing all of the studios off each other to get Elvis (and himself...) bigger and bigger contracts.

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Anyway... Blue Hawaii. Elvis is Chadwick Gates, a soldier returning to Hawaii from Europe. The door of the plane opens with him making out with a stewardess, and we’re off and running. He’s wearing what look like the exact same uniform that he wore in G.I. Blues. Anything to save a buck. From there he goes straight to the beach and goofs around for a week before his dad tracks him down. Daddy’s a big deal at a large pineapple company, and he and Chad’s mother (Angela Lansbury with a terrible southern accent and drinking problem) want Chad to come home, join the family and the business, and marry a nice (read not native) girl. In case you weren’t sure they were racist, they have an Asian servant named Ping Pong. 

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The problem is Chad doesn’t want to work for daddy, and he has a part Hawaiian girlfriend, Hot Safe Woman Miley. He’s lucky to have her too, because she’s able to look the other way when she sees him with the stewardess and when he says (well, sings, actually) that he was “Almost Always True” while he was in Europe.

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Which brings us to the songs. There’s a slew of them, ranging from the God awful “Ito Eats,” to the campy “Slicin’ Sand” and “Beach Boy Blues,” to the sappy “Island of Love” to the great “Rock A Hula Baby.”* It also has one of Elvis’ biggest hits, “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” That one has been done so many times in so many ways that it almost seems like a cover song in the movie.

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As the movie goes on,  Chad decides to become a tour guide for the company Miley works for. His first job is giving a tour to a school teacher and four teenage students. All girls, natch. This leads to frolicking, song, dance, a bar fight, miscommunication and every manner of sitcom mix up. Exposition, song, scenery, repeat.

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All in all, it’s pretty fun and harmless. Elvis neither manslaughters anyone nor gets killed himself. The bar fight leads to a brief jail visit, cuz he needed to have a little edge still, right? For now at least…

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ACTING: 5 Elvises 

MUSICAL PERFORMANCES: 7 Elvises

BEST SONG: Rock A Hula Baby

STUNTS: Bar fight with flying pineapple and watermelon, surf board paddling without actual surfing,  slicing' sand

CRINGE FACTOR: Two words: Ping Pong. Also Lusty Teen Schoolgirl. So five words.  (Late edit: Duffy Hughes caught something I forgot. Toward the end, the Lusty Teen Girl won't stop throwing herself at Chad, so he decides to spank her. So let's add a 6th word- Spanking)

KISSIN’: Stewardess, girlfriend, lusty teen girlfriend - To his credit Elvis/Chad fights that one off.

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*I do “Rock A Hula Baby” with Little Elvis