Originally reviewed May 24, 2020

Baffled.

And confused.

Also befuddled, lost, and perplexed. I have just so many unanswered questions.

Double Trouble? Why? There is trouble, I guess, but what does the “double” refer to? The movie poster has two Elvises, but he only plays one character, Guy Lambert, in the movie. There are no twins, and really barely two love interests. 

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One of love interests is Jill. Jill is in love with Guy, and Guy is willing to go along until he finds out she is four days away from being 18.* That’s 17 to you and me, and thankfully the people that brought you cousins/ love interests in the past decided to draw the line at minor/ love interest. But why did make they her 17? 

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The story starts out pretty well, with Guy singing with his band in London. They are mod and groovy and they play “Baby If You Give Me All Your Love,” which is a great song. They finish their set and Guy meets both Jill and the mysterious Claire.  He takes Jill home but nothing happens. Well, actually, there is a knock at the door and a guy knocks out Guy with one punch. Which is the least Elvis movie thing ever. Why would that happen?

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From there it only gets more confusing. Guy and the band, and also Jill, are all on a boat that is heading to Brussels. They are being followed, and sometimes attacked, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. There are two bumbling crooks who decide to hide the diamond they are carrying in Guy’s luggage. Who are the bumbling crooks? Why pick the most flamboyant guy on the boat, the one who just sang “Long Legged Girl With A Short Dress On?”** to all the passengers, to be their mule? 

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They get to Belgium and there are more attempts on their lives. Is it the guys looking for the diamonds? Then Claire shows up. What? Is she stalking Guy? The band never shows up again. What happened to the band? 

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At one point Guy and Jill ride on the back of a poultry truck form somewhere to somewhere. Where? I don’t remember and it hardly matters. What matters is that on the ride, Guy sings “Old MacDonald Had A Farm” which gives “Yoga Is As Yoga Does” a run from it’s money as worst Elvis movie song. It’s easily in the bottom five. How did anyone convince Elvis to do this song? And more importantly, why?

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Jill and Guy go out on the town during what looks like Carnival in Rio or Mardi Graz in New Orleans. But they are in Antwerp, so what is it? No matter, Guy sings “I Love Only One Girl” which is good right up until he starts singing and dancing with a 7 year old girl. Why? Why does there have to be a scene with a little girl in so many of these movies?

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Eventually a man that Jill met on the boat runs into her, and they take a walk. He gets her to go to a secluded area with him so that he can kill her. Wait, what the hell? 

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Luckily he’s one of those talkie killers and explains that Jill’s uncle, who has raised her, has been spending her inheritance, and she needs to die before she turns 18. Thanks, Johnny Exposition. Then Guy shows up, and they karate each other, which is easily the highlight of the movie, and the guy*** falls into a well. Guy and Jill leave and hide evidence and don’t tell anyone what happened. Why wouldn’t they call the police and say, “Hey, this guy**** tried to kill Jill*****, and said her uncle hired him, and then we karate fought, and he fell into this well and died?”

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And now the heat is on, and Guy and Jill decide to flee the country. So they try to get tickets on a rust bucket of a boat that has a crew of two pirates and, I shit you not, a parrot. And the pirates turn them away. Why would they try to get on a pirate ship? And why would the pirates turn them away?

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Then they go get a hotel room, and Guy briefly forgets that Jill is still a couple days away from 18, and then some new characters show up. Like a lot of them. One is a horrible Inspector Clouseau rip off, and three others are the Inspector Clouseau Triplets, who are just painful to watch. Why did this movie need so many Inspector Clouseaus?

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Another new character is Inspector de Groote, who is played by Leon Askin, who also played General Burkhalter in Hogans Heroes. He plays de Groote exactly the same as Burkhalter. To say that his performance is a breath of fresh air in Double Trouble is to give you some idea of how low the bar is in this movie.

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From here it’s just bumblers bumbling and bunglers bungling and none of it makes any sense. Why did they have to have so many plot lines? Why did there need to be diamond thieves and a murder plot and a minor love interest and pirates and a future star of a concentration camp based comedy? Why?

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Oh, Norman Taurog is back to his old self? 

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Nevermind. It all makes perfect sense.

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ACTING: 3 Elvises

MUSICAL PERFORMANCES: 5 Elvises

BEST SONG: “Long Legged Girl With A Short Dress On”

STUNTS: Karate fight with post breaking and mid fight jacket removal.

CRINGE FACTOR: 17 year old love interest.

KISSIN’: More than there legally should have been.

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*Don’t worry, the movie will take exactly four days. Although it feels longer…

**Great song, sung by Greg “Pacer” Baxter in Little Elvis

***Not Guy

****Not Guy

*****I wish this movie would have been called “Kill Jill.”